I feel that I’ve lost so much trying to accommodate my family versus what I think is right. I know that you’re getting so tired of me talking about this when you’ve told me many times the solution to resolve the problem. The funny thing is that I actually followed through only to eventually break. I regret my attempt to split responsibilities rather than hold my peers accountable, if I keep this up I’ll be broke and restless for the rest of my life. I’ll be chasing a rainbow that doesn’t exist while bending backward just to make everyone happy. Happiness is not a fish you can catch, it’s something you have to build consistently and maintain for years to come. I feel that my problem is the lack of confidence in keeping my composure on certain issues. I think I’m either too lenient or too lazy to enforce my beliefs. I think that everyone is right and I’m wrong when in reality everyone has a fair shot at being both. I also lack the disipline to be consistent regardless of the influances around me. I tead to fall back on my conforters of being submisive.
For years I have maintained communication with my love, my teacher, my desire, my passion. Sasha has been an inspiration for me, I hope she can be one for you too.