I have been living in fear of being irrelevant to both my family and to myself. For awhile I’ve been searching for something new in contract to what I want my life to become. There is night I lie awake thinking about death because I’m at this stationary point in my life. All I want if to carry this family a life of dream but I see now that I can’t do it alone. I need to learn and grow but there’s just not enough room. Sorry for being all over the place, I know you have concerns of your own. I just want to point out the justification I have for my current emotions. In my closet, I have an escape in case things become unbearable. if I don’t find my grounds tonight, I may just use it.
For years I have maintained communication with my love, my teacher, my desire, my passion. Sasha has been an inspiration for me, I hope she can be one for you too.