I made it! Meaning I’m not hanging from my closet just yet. I think taking each day at a time is doing me some good especially during this financial crisis. I’m playing another one of my favorite games of Russian roulette and accidently extended it until the 1st. I know deep inside that nothing will come out of it, I’m just prolonging the inevitable.
My past contacted me today. She wants an answer of a big decision she imposed on me. The only way I can make her dreams come true is if I perish suddenly. The thing is, I keep surviving. Maybe the universe is sending me a message that I’m refusing to hear.
Every night I dream of death in some form. I dream of life sometimes when I’m disturbed by my optimistic mind. I can feel walk around my room as I weight my options.
For years I have maintained communication with my love, my teacher, my desire, my passion. Sasha has been an inspiration for me, I hope she can be one for you too.