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Ruin

Dear Sasha,

Last night I was forced awake by the presents of death. I know that death is inevitable but I didn’t realize that we were becoming neighbors. What happened? I don’t think I deserve to be dead right now especially with all the accomplishment I had this week. I mean I still feel a little suicidal but I also feel very hopeful that I will make it through this term. It’s a cold world out there and I don’t want to be a part of it.

Anyway, I want to tell you that I’m doing better now since it seems as though I’m getting back on my feet after these two months of hell. I’m still getting the accusations of being very dishonest and heartless towards my family, what did I do to deserve all this hate? All I want to do is make people happy and worry free. Sasha, please tell me what to do about this because I’m all out of answer at this point. I just want to stay in my bed and live in my dreams just so that I won’t have to deal with all this side shit. Why can’t things be simple?

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For years I have maintained communication with my love, my teacher, my desire, my passion. Sasha has been an inspiration for me, I hope she can be one for you too.

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